FYI

I went back to my old blog.

Read that instead. It's much more entertaining

Dating is Miserable

The Lyrics to 'Good Morning Starshine' Are Ridiculous

Some of the actual lyrics to Good Morning Starshine are

Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba
Le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla
Nooby abba naba
Early morning singing song

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!??!?!

The Baby Shower Invites Are Getting Thrown Away

I'm throwing my sister a baby shower at the end of April in honor of kidlet numero dos being on the way. I worked up this really cool theme and had my amazingly talented friend Kerry design the invites.

I had them printed as postcards and sent them on their way happy way. It turns out people think they are advertisements for something and are just tossing them.

It makes me sad that all of Kerry's hard word and all of my money is basically being wasted. I was fully aware that they would be thrown away in the end but c'mon I wanted everyone to see them first!

Today I Am In A "Mood"

I am in a bad mood today. Here is a list of things that have annoyed me since I woke up.

1. I am slightly hungover.
2. Michael Jackson was so talented as a kid and young adult. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED.
3. A bizarre conversation with a friacquintance + beer triggered some insecurity and I lashed out at two people via IM and text. Totally uncalled for on my part.
4. My shoulders, chest, and nose are sunburned despite multiple sunscreen applications yesterday.
5. Twitter won't let me follow Ryan (Suki's) for whatever reason.
6. I am not in-love married to this guy.
   
7. I finally selected an outfit this morning I didn't hate. I dug around in a box for 20 minutes trying to find the perfect shoes (successfully I might add). I found my favorite scarfand was finally feeling better about life. I was halfway to work when I realized I was wearing all brown and had forgotten to change purses and was/am still carrying the black one I always carry. COORDINATION FAIL.
8. "Pete* is just being Pete*" is not an excuse to be a complete jerk. I'm so sick of hearing this. If someone is an asshole they shouldn't get a free pass because "that's just who they are".
   
9. This season of Big Love is over.
   
10. I can not stand people being hot and cold. You know when you're in a hot steamy shower relaxing after a long day and the water suddenly goes ice cold? I hate when people do that.
11. I miss my sister and I'm depressed at not being able to be around when my new niece is born this summer.
12. I got paid today but all of it is going right back out for rent, plane tickets, and bills. All of it is an exaggeration but it feels like that.
13. My boss's husband smells funny.
14. I have baby and puppy fever. I don't want either one I just want a friend to have one.
15. I need a manicure.
16. Twitter is acting up.
17. Waiting for the "call back" is stupid and fills me with anxiety.
18. I really want sushi.
19. I really want to get out of the city but I feel like none of my friends ever want to commit to a trip or an outing in advance.
20. I'm tired.
21. I feel fat.
22. I'm annoyed that I'm this annoyed and grouchy.
23. I'm hungry.
24. My apartment is a little messy.
    

Getting Corrected When I Do Things Right

Background: I work for an older couple (80 & 84) as their personal assistant. They have houses all around, travel, sit on boards of very large charities, and are incredibly active. I manage pretty much every aspect of their entire life.

I love my bosses. I really do. The two of them have become like grandparents and I love working here even though the husband can drive me batshit insane sometimes. He likes to correct me even though I'm right and treat me like I don't know all the details of a plan when I, in fact, MADE the plan.

For example, today he asked me for a copy of their itinerary for their upcoming New York trip. I handed it to him and before giving it back to me he gave me a stern lecture about making sure I double checked my work, have the correct details, and was very thorough in their travel plans. He handed me back the document saying he had made some corrections and would appreciate me changing them ASAP.

I went from stunned and worried to completely annoyed in less than 3 seconds.

Please click below to see what his "problem" was.

The Water In My Apartment Is Being Turned Off Tomorrow

I haven't had a real day off in what feels like forever. For the last two weeks I've either had to pop into work for a second, take work calls, answer work e-mails, deal with screaming property managers at 8:30 on a Saturday, or reorganize papers for work. To say I am looking forward to tomorrow (and the rest of the weekend) is an understatement.

I've made sure that every little thing is taken care of. I've pushed work onto the Napa people. I've triple checked arrangements. I've printed out every paper imaginable so no one has to call me and ask. I am all set for a relaxing day at home tomorrow. Well I was until I got a notice on my front door letting me know that the water in my apartment is being turned off from 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM tomorrow and construction is starting at 8 AM on some repairs in the basement.

Kill Me.

I Got Rejected From F*** My Life.

I posted the "I Found Porn On My Work Computer Of My Boss's Son" story on http://www.fmylife.com/ and it got rejected/hasn't been posted. I swear I'm going to post the videos and pictures (I kept them after getting rid of the virus laden ones in case he ever came back saying I was lying about it) so that someone can commiserate with me.